Trickster
I'm the trickster burn so brightly
I still hate you motherfuckers everyone
wrapped in glory bound so tightly
I still crave you even when I'm overcome

saved by the light let me go on let me go bright
to be saved by the light let me go on let me go bright

I'm the trickster burned so badly
I still hate you motherfuckers everyone
wore my sickness so politely
I can't be your everything to everyone
woid of meaning swelled just slightly
I still need you I still need you
gone forever so concisely
I still need you I still need you

saved by the light let me go on let me go bright
to be saved by the light let me go on let me go bright

and if you hate the world
lets say I've been there
and if you hate yourself
well don't go changing
all the times I used your body done my way can't say I'm sorry
ripped the gloss of all your memories consequences so demanding
bruised and beaten conscience bleeding sexually

saved by the light let me go on let me go bright
to be saved by the light let my go on let me go bright

St. Lawrence River

smells on the air see there it's crushing the final impression
the stains on the paper
where words fell like water unearth all the changes that never did matter
I think it's beginning to freeze here
caught in the rage and the fire of things all the brightness that burns me
I'm fumbling through like a child in dakr when the nakedness come I am
shocked by the color
the glorious weight of your skin
comes alive
and I never thought we'd make it back so soon
might be nice but I knew you'd be your own destroyer
comes a time
and I always thought I'd make it up to you

here please forgive me how could we escape all the bitterness piled upon
bitterness
held in the face of the things that I don't understand intellectualize over
and over
this helplessness suits us it's funny how quiet has slipped to our corners
and worn all our edges away you are watching breathing and baiting
wanting and warming and cautiously waiting for some simple signal to
creep cross your conscience
uncover redemption and oh did I mention I carried you down to the
St. Lawrence River
the banks running dirty the waters begin to freeze here
solid by morning and I'll freeze here
winter by morning
comes a lie
and I never thought you'd get me back so soon
might be nice but it's only if my own destroyer
comes alive
and I always knew I'd make it up to you

I saw on your face such a curious grin as I let go your hand I was
desperate to hold you again
but your sinking to deep in the water outsmarted myself and so easily
gave up what I wanted
solid by morning
what I wanted
winter by morning
comes alive
and I never thought you'd make it up so soon
might be nice but I always knew your my destroyer
comes a time
and I always knew I'd make it up to you

Jesus was my girl

so he dies and I'm the joke
a playdoh mask a million miles to go
a suped up cock with a little twist
when sex got ugly I'd insist
hear you've taken all I've got
fucking's over but I can't stop cumming
still born dead or never born at all

when jesus was my girl
she told me
when jesus was my girl

It's impossible for me
harder ever if I turn it over
I'm not a pretty as I thought I'd be
another symptom of my damn disease
hear you've taken all I got
fucking's over but I just keep cumming
still born dead and never born at all

when jesus was my girl
she told me
when jesus was my girl
I'm not as pretty as I thought I'd be
another symptom of my damn disease

Unholy, Dirty and Beautiful

bound by the time on the clock
bittersweet wondering the quiet transfusion
hold tight nothing is complicated
hold tight everythings fine
confidence fell throught the hole in your pocket
the simples illogical so it be logic
I'm caught in the diaries with all your complaining
the curious scribblings of one who has everything

leave me unholy and dirty and beautiful be
unholy and dirty and beautiful

cherish the lies that you bought
charming delusions gone crack in the fire
I know we might be mediocre
I know nothings on fire
confidence fell throught the hole in your pocket
the simples illogical so it be logic
I'm caught in the diaries with all your complaining
ridiculous grumblings from one who has everything

leave me unholy and dirty and beautiful be
unholy and dirty and beautiful

Forest Fire

what if i were you and you were me
still can't see the forest fire beyond the trees
now i'm standing in a field of green
the colour floating as far as i can see
do you see?

why wasn't i told the galaxy's so small
you sit and watch the world dissolve
now i'm falling through the universe
slipping through the endless dream of time
what would you find

and i'm slipping, floating on the wind again
hoping it will drag me in
can't you see i'm living
slipping into consciousness
nothing in this circumstance
don't you know by now

been in all the faces they've gone by
faster than you live, the more we die
now i'm crashing through the open door
firing in the most peculiar way
what would you say?
and i'm falling, faster than the waterfall
opened up and after all
can't you see i'm drowning
right here in the open
wishing i could still go clear
don't you know by now

this is what we are

flying, floating on the wind again
wishing that you'd drag me in
can't you see i'm hoping
wishing i can see myself
wishing i was someone else
don't you know by now?
this is what we are

Baby Skin Tattoo

I am just the gray one I'm the darker side of you
and there's a place you left inside me
I hope it will amuse
and see this sign carved in my arm
just means I'll hate you all forever
it's my babyskin tattoo
it's the brand name you've left

it's not so far from me to you

circumcised myself because I knew you'd be too busy
and saw the knife was dull
just why the fuck do you think I'm crying
styes caught in my eye
and it swells me till I'm numbing
but I'll leave it there to punish you
for leaving me so hard

it's not so far from me to you

I deliver I will recieve all the blessing from these things given
tested longer held back only here

I am just the gray one I'm the darker side of you
and there's a place you left inside me
I hope it will amuse
and see this sign carved in my arm
just means I'll hate you all forever
it's my babyskin tattoo
it's the brand name you've left

and I beg borrow prostrate here under cover of everything made dear
fearing only you

F Train

traveled on the f train down the
people press and crowd
they start to fade like footprints worn away
only stop and still I'm waiting
a thousand faces look the same everyone
a thousand different names
they come on two by two
people fade as people do
came here of my own volition
could be my decision
could be
we may still get by
we may still get by

wandered down on avenue a
the coffee shops the sweet cache
of thoughts and words and laughter gone
never ending stream of what you've
known so long and long ignored
don't think so hard just smoke your cigarette
and fade off into blue
cause people fade as people always do

consequence comes crashing in
the scars and scrapes and scratches
all the memories died so long ago
time is up but still I'm waiting
came here of my own volition
could be indecision
could be
we may still get by
we may still get by

Million

borrowed in black you are mine
don't make it easy don't make it hard
don't make it so simple again
so, so easy
bound like a child you are mine
I can't defend you
I won't complain
I won't go so, so quiet again
go so gently again

a million a million more
for you to burn

promised your mother I'd write
I'd kill you gently
I'd keep you calm
I'd make it all so simple again
all so quiet
here one the morning was bright
but violence changes the light
and now I've grown so empty again
grown so empty again

a million a million more
for you to burn

I can be cold dear I can be cold as you wanted
living is hard here
when I'm just the whore that you wanted me to be

a million a million more
for you to burn

Final thoughts and the last day on earth

heaven haunts me kill for a cigarette
heaven is all that I got
my god left me without one word of warning
my god left me waiting is all that I got

I've seen your face before
I've seen your anger crashing down
all my life I've seen your babies
crashing to the ground

my girl brought me comfort to keep me stable
needles paid for comfort is all that I got

my god left me without one word of warning
my god left me
my god is all that I got

I've seen your face before
I've seen your anger crashing down
all my life I've seen your babies
crashing to the ground

don't be afraid
we're all afraid